Right off the bat, this project intimidated me. I don’t like public speaking let alone performing art in front of people. No matter how I look at it, it feels forced to me. It's an act I have to put on at a certain time in a certain manner to create something as if it's a show. That's the difference with studio art that I enjoy though, I can do it alone whenever I want and when I'm ready to show the world my end result I can. However, being so passionate about art, I’ve learned it doesn't just encompass the traditional studio aspect. Art isn't strictly paper and paintbrush; art can be dance and performance too. I still wasn't sure where I was going with this though, so I started by researching the artists listed on the assignment paper.
One that caught my attention right away was Ana Mendieta. Her work revolved around the crossing between earth culture and performance art to emphasize the sanctity of the female body and to push against the mainstream conventions of art. A lot of her work acts as a narrative representing her growth as an artist as well. In her Tree of Life piece, she becomes and blends into the landscape behind creating this unique work of art. My favorite piece by her is Body Tracks Series in 1982 where she uses her hands to drag a two lines downward. It's so simple yet prominent and powerful. Its like shes taking a piece of herself and leaving it on the canvas.
Another artist I was interested in was Yves Klein. I was originally interested in him because of his blue monochrome works that he later patented as International Klein Blue. He frequently used nude women as paint brushes for his works, which eventually turned into a performance art. One time he had his audience dress in formal wear and watch the models do their thing and roll around in blue paint while Klein’s The Monotone Symphony played in the background. I love that he used blue as if he created it, but I’m curious to know why he strictly used women and never men. I understand that people enjoy nude women and how sexualized the naked body can be, but I wish he would have used any body not just a woman's body.
Research got me thinking about how different artists use their lives, background, and history to create works with their body and how each outcome is completely different from the next. For this specific project, I wanted to focus on the connection between canvas and the human itself. I wanted to focus on how the mark an artist makes with their body represents a part of themselves. I knew I wanted to make a mark with my body that showcases the amount of effort I put into my art and how much of a toll it takes on me. For example, my art is my everything. Art is my world, and I put 110% into everything I do art related. That being said, I sometimes lose apart of myself in the process. I will constantly spread myself too thin and take on too many projects and art pieces for people at one time because I never want to say no. I’m the type of person to stay up all night long working on a piece until it's perfect. I find myself sacrificing parts of myself in order to create the best work I possibly can. I won't sleep, eat, drink, talk, or move for that matter until my work is done. That's the part that people don’t see. They don’t see how much time and energy I put into each piece. I usually get paid for my work, but sometimes I do work for people without getting anything in return (not that I always want something in return), but sometimes I get taken for gratinate (which is fine it just takes a lot out of me). A lot of the time I feel like a machine. People come to me with requests and use me like I’m an inkjet printer. My point being is that I put 100% of myself in to only get 20% out and it takes a toll on me. I love art and it doesn't upset me because I enjoy it so much, I just see myself constantly getting caught up in not sleeping and eating and losing energy, motivation, and enthusiasm. The biggest hit I’ve taken recently happened recently. I painted the biggest piece I've ever done a little while ago. It was a 15ft banner that took me hours to complete and I was so proud of it. It was devoted to an event that benefits a nationwide charity. I hung it up on campus to only find two days later it was gone. I called the school only to find they took it down and threw it away because Chapman had an event on campus and didn't want any posters or banners up. I spent hours on a the biggest piece I've ever worked on only to find my school threw it away. It was the biggest slap in the face. They treated my art like it was a piece of trash and had no regard to even contact me and ask if I was ok with them throwing it out.
So, with all of this frustration inside of me, I plan to make a mark with my body that showcases how all my effort exhausted me. I want to represent my feeling of being drained and worn out. I want to create the feeling that people don't see; the’ how much effort I put into everything’ feeling. I plan to paint the bottom side of my shoes, my knees, my hands and my arms to make a mark on my paper.
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