Political Portrait

“I STAND WITH FORD”

Within a structure of systematic oppression, women have been objectified and inferior to men for all of America’s history. When women received the right to vote in 1919, Congress took initiative to balance gender equality. The Kavanaugh case showed an extreme lack of progress within our justice system. Watching the live Kavanaugh case reminded me of the horrors of not being believed. Reflecting on my own experiences, the case forced me to realize my own burdens living in a Patriarchal society. Staying up late at night, I spent countless hours thinking about the side of Christine Ford. She was ridiculed for telling her truth, to receive ‘attention’ for her sexual assault. I finally recalled an experience that I had three years ago. Lying in bed, I remember myself waking up on my friend’s couch, completely naked, with a used condom next to me on the nightstand. A million different thoughts raced through my head as I walked towards my friend’s room to question her about what happened the night before. I enter her room as her and her boyfriend were cuddling in bed. I bluntly ask her what happened, as she further describes my attraction to a random guy at the party. Not only do I not remember this guy, I do not recall talking to him or hooking up. She tells me we had sex on the couch. My mind is racing, questioning myself and my friend. Did my friend know I was black out drunk? Did the guy know I was black out drunk? I immediately decide to uber home, distraught from not knowing anything that happened to me. I quickly look the guy up on Facebook, message him to ask if he used a condom, closed my phone, and tried to piece the puzzle together. He messaged back so soon, and I looked at my phone in horror. He responded, “yeah, the first time, but I don’t know about the other times.” After that, I took a trip to Walgreens, took a Plan B, and pushed the memory out of my head. Three years later, I am lying in bed, horrified at myself. How could I forget about this experience of being used? I am dealing with it now and processing these questions. This drawing was a way to deal with this thing that happened to me. I don’t have any influences other than this experience and this burden that I hold every day now. It is extremely hard to talk about, but sharing this in critique made me realize I am lucky to have people that believe me and support me. Ford’s courage of sharing her story made me realize I am not crazy and neither is anyone who has been sexually assaulted.