Advanced Life Drawing : Final

Everyone fakes a smile sometimes. I know when I do, it's because I don't have the energy capacity to explain how I am feeling or have the time to evaluate what I am feeling.

My final series, How Are You Today?, explores a range of emotions that I have felt over this past semester under my smiles. The three pieces represents feelings of uselessness, empowerment, and acceptance. With the use of broad stokes and vibrant colors, How Are You Today?, manifests a visual for these feelings to evolve and grow.

My inspiration came from my inability to express and create works that reflects my inner emotions. This semester has been incredibly challenging for me and has pushed me to limits that I am still unsure are limits I want to reach again. I went through a range of emotions this year and felt them deeper than I have ever before.

Feelings of uselessness stemmed from a collection of experiences where I felt doubted and unworthy of the path that I have chosen for myself. From critiques from professors to the 2016 Election results, my path of film-making and activism was challenged to a point where I could not longer see a purpose nor a will to continue on.

Feelings of empowerment were strongest when I was reminded of community and the wondrous power of Love. Paraphrasing the late Grace Lee Boggs, we have "a limitless capacity to love, serve, and create for and with each other.” I am fortunate enough to have people around me that constantly inspire me with their work and love. These moments helped me realize that I must continue on this path that I have chosen and I can do the work that I want because I have people that are willing to support me.

And lastly, feelings of acceptance was an important part of this semester. Though I felt useless sometimes, though I felt empowered other times, in the end it was acceptance that helped me get through this semester. It is acceptance that helps me everyday. For this piece's background, I painted in the word "我", meaning "I" in Chinese. The origins of this word come from the word for hand and weapon showing that human can protect itself. And that is what acceptance has done for me, I am learning to protect myself, to believe in myself, and to share my limitless love.

I usually am one to be very detail oriented in artwork and a fan of small strokes. But for this piece I wanted to explore the feeling of fast, broad, and expressive movements of paint and oil pastels.

For my visual references I pulled inspiration from the following artists: