"Daughter of a Dragon" (Self as Subject)

For my self as subject assignment, I explored my surfaced emotions on the space that me and my body take up, specifically in regards to the scar from the small pox vaccine I received after I was born in Taiwan. This scar rests on my left upper arm and is usually covered by my shirt sleeves. But this summer, I spent a lot of my time wearing sleeveless shirts, which reminded me of this scar.

As a Taiwanese-American identifying person, I struggle between feeling at home in the United States or in Taiwan. As an immigrant from Taiwan, I am constantly reminded of my "alien" life in the States. This scar is proof that I was not born in the United States.

I was intrigued to find a pose that allowed me to showcase the scar. In the beginning, I had a vision of a pose that was more reserved and almost shamed about the scare. But as I was trying out poses that I wanted to draw, I realized that I did not want to seem "shy". I was proud of my scar and I was grateful to have gotten it. Thus, I began to try poses that seemed more empowering and courageous.

I chose this particular pose because to me it represented someone who is already moving forward in her life and takes a moment to just pause to acknowledge the person behind them - almost in a "so what?" way. And that is how I feel about my scar. I am living my life the way I want and I don't care about what other people think about my scar and will justify my Taiwanese American identity forever. The dragon surrounding me represents the image of my soul and the space that I want to take up. I want to be more vocal and stand up for myself and by channeling the inner dragon in me, I hope that I can.

Some sources of inspiration for my piece was Frida Kahlo, James Jean, Deng Wei Wei, and photographs of Anna May Wong .

Roots, 1943 by Friday Kahlo

Frida Kahlo's piece, Roots (1943), spoke to me in the way that she painted herself surrounded and connected to her surroundings. The vines are coming from her body and wrapping around her, with her blood flowing though the leaves. I enjoyed this aspect of connectedness. By wrapping the dragon around my self, I wanted to relate the dragon to me, similar to how Frida connects herself to the tree of life.

These images of Anna May Wong from Llyod Corrigan's film, Daughter of the Dragon (1931), was a huge source of inspiration for me. The images of Anna May with the dragon either projected or on her clothing was so intriguing and invoked a sense of empowerment to me. Dragons are seen to be a very powerful and mystical beasts. I wanted to channel these imagery in my self portrait because I relate to these images.

These pieces are from James Jean, a Taiwanese-American artist. His pieces are so magical. I loved his use of simple color schemes. In the piece on the right, the subject is not colored in while the background is filled with deep blues and bright oranges. This juxtaposition allows for the piece to pop out. I want to allude to his juxtaposing styles with my self portrait and dragon, by having the dragon be more 2D like to show that this dragon is not of this world, but more of a spirit. James Jean us of color reminded me of the traditional style Chinese paintings like below. 

These pieces are from Deng Wei Wei. I took inspiration from his dragon pieces to learn from. These dragon piece reflect more traditional styles of Chinese art, which I wanted to allude to in my dragon piece. There are big difference in western dragons and eastern dragons and I used Deng Wei Wei's pieces as references. 

My piece explores my feelings about the space that I take up and the space that I want to take up. It's also an exploration of my Taiwanese-American identity in how I am both yet each individually all at once. 

References:

Frida Kahlo

Anna May Wong (1, 2)

James Jean

Deng Wei Wei